Each Decision Is a Declaration of Who You Are!

During the Great Depression there was a man who was desperate to find a way to feed his wife and children. Finally with no other recourse, he went to a nearby potato farm in search of some kind of work.

He knocked on the door of the farmer, explained his situation, and asked if there was anything – anything at all – he could do on the farm. The farmer felt the man’s desperation so he searched his mind for some kind of job he could give him. Finally he said, “Come with me.” He took the man out to a long conveyor belt that carried the potatoes and told him, “This is simple, just put the large potatoes in the crate on the left and the small ones in the crate on the right.”

After only a few hours, there was another knock on the door and the farmer was surprised to see the man from the morning standing there. “Thank you very much for trying to help me but I have to quit,” the man nervously blurted out. “But why?” asked the farmer. The man replied, “I just can’t do it anymore; the decisions are killing me!”

Let’s face it. Some people are really good at making decisions and others, well… Or maybe you are great at making huge, life-altering decisions but deciding what to have for lunch is a stress-inducer for you. Or you could be someone who makes decisions everyday in work but can’t make and keep a simple decision to take care of your health. Sometimes, the closer the decision is to you, the harder it is or maybe you freeze when you know your decision will affect others.

Making decisions can be super easy, deeply troubling, or any level of ease or difficulty in-between, depending on a variety of factors such as, knowing what you really want, knowing how to get your hands on the right information, how in touch you are with your true intuition, role-models you’ve had, your own general patterns of thinking, your level of optimism or pessimism, personal experience (too much or too little, good or bad), and much more.

Unfortunately or fortunately our lives are primarily a reflection and accumulation of the decisions we make. If you’ve made some decisions in the past that didn’t turn out precisely as you had hoped, learn from them, move on, and be ready to apply the learning to future decisions. Almost every person I know feels better on the other side of a decision. The process of making a decision can be one of the greatest stresses you face in your life or it can be the thing that frees you to have, do, be, and create what you really want!

Remember this: Each and every decision you make – large or small – is a declaration of who you are or who you want to be. Your dreams, desires, and goals will only be realized when you step up, when you decide something new. Not a wimpy, change-with-the-wind decision but one that is backed up with commitment, with resolve.

Take charge of your decisions; make decisions that lead you to the future you desire and you'll find that life will take on a new energy!

Your coach, Debra

Click Here to check out my fun and irreverent eBook entitled, What the #%@! Am I Doing?How to GET OFF YOUR ASS and Change Your Life! It's a great read for you or to share when a kick-in-the-pants is needed.

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How To Deal with Negativity

“How do I deal with my friend, spouse, relative, co-worker, etc. who is frequently negative?” It’s a common question and concern for people committed to growth, people committed to having a positive focus in life. As you become more and more oriented toward opportunity and positivity, it's easy to become even more aware of the negativity in others.

There isn’t one specific answer to the question about how to deal with the negativity in others. Obviously, if it's possible to limit the time you spend with them, that would be an easy solution but what about the core people in your life?

While there is much more to this topic that I can cover in this short blog, here are a few thoughts and ideas that may help.

1. Refrain from Judging. Judging people for being ‘negative’ is just another form of negativity. It never helps to say, "I wish you'd stop being so negative." (I admit to doing this one too many times!) If you imagine their negativity as a dark liquid in a glass, when you get upset and judge them, you just add more dark liquid. Begin pouring positivity, light liquid in and things will inevitably change - even if it's only in how you feel.
2. Align. Before trying to redirect them to a more positive place, take at least a moment to genuinely align with them in some way. You can always find something to genuinely respect, appreciate, or agree with in regard to what they are saying or how they are feeling.
3. Redirect Their Focus. Rather than pushing against their negative state of mind, just lead the conversation to more fun and uplifting subjects. You could recall a fun experience you shared together, ask a question about something you know was enjoyable for them, tickle them if necessary ;) - have some fun redirecting their focus!
4. Change the Routines and Patterns. Review how you spend time with this person. There is probably a pattern or routine that doesn’t work but that you keep repeating. I finally realized when I called my mom I always asked, “How are you?” It was an opening for her to begin with a litany of problems. Easy solution: I began experimenting with new opening lines i.e. “Your grandson did the cutest thing today.” or “You know what I was thinking about today – the time you and I went…”. Be thoughtful. Maybe you have the routine of Friday night 'complaining about work' sessions with your co-workers. Try switching things up maybe by inviting some people who don't work with you so you can expand the conversation or suggest a fun activity in place of what you've been doing. You’ll probably have to break your own pattern to make any real change - get creative!
5. Be a positive example. Continue to enjoy your own life and to look on the bright side of life.

At the end of the day, we all have a tendency to be negative at times and what we need at those times is someone to help lift us up rather than criticize us for being negative. Therefore the most effective way to deal with negativity is to dilute it with positive experiences and with your positive energy.

Your coach, Debra

Click Here to check out my fun and irreverent eBook entitled, What the #%@! Am I Doing?How to GET OFF YOUR ASS and Change Your Life! It's a great read for you or to share when a kick-in-the-pants is needed.

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The Plateau

Is there really such a thing? Maybe it’s merely an illusion and the truth is we are always either making progress or falling back. How you view the seeming plateau and what action you take will determine which of these you experience.

One of my favorite books is Mastery: The Keys to Success and Long-Term Fulfillment by George Leonard. In it he helps you realize the power of turning the apparent plateau into the foundation for success.

Embracing, maximizing, and utilizing the ‘plateau’ has become an important aspect of my coaching because it’s the downfall for many people. It’s common to become addicted to the growth phases - the times when there is obvious growth, learning, and success. It’s easy to mistake these times for success and see everything else as being stalled or failure. Nothing could be farther from the truth. In fact, anyone who becomes a master at anything will spend more time on the ‘plateau’ than anywhere else. These periods of time, if used well, become the solid foundations (even the catalysts) for the next growth phases and for long-term success.

If you become frustrated and upset about what appears to be a plateau you’ll likely do one of three things:

1. Jump ship and move on to the next thing thereby becoming a jack-of-all-trades and master of none.
2. Become frustrated, obsessive, and try to force growth. This will likely cause you to burn out yourself and those around you. Even if you are able to force the next growth phase it’s often rushed and built on shaky ground.
3. Little-by-little lose ground, feel depressed, and maybe even give up.

However, if you decide to embrace, maximize, and utilize the ‘plateau’, if you decide to make it all about steady progress it can become the missing element in creating the long-term success you desire.

There are four simple steps to turning a 'plateau' into a Steady Progress Phase:

1. Use this time to consciously practice and apply everything you learned in the previous growth phases.
2. Build consistency and positive habits that will serve as the foundation for your next growth phase and long-term success.
3. Focus on consistently making small, incremental improvements.
4. Stay conscious, aware, and ready to take advantage of the next growth phase.

To love the plateau is to love the eternal now, to enjoy the inevitable spurts of progress and the fruits of accomplishment, then serenely to accept the new plateau that waits just beyond them. To love the plateau is to love what is most essential and enduring in your life. ~George Leonard

Here's to Mastery! Your coach, Debra

Click Here to check out my fun and irreverent eBook entitled, What the #%@! Am I Doing?How to GET OFF YOUR ASS and Change Your Life! It's a great read for you or to share when a kick-in-the-pants is needed.

Click Here To Learn More